Khmer: ដឹងឆ្ងើយដ្បិតដង កូនឆ្គងដ្បិតមេបា doeng chngoey dbet dâng, kon chkoung dbet me ba
This saying teaches that when a child turns out badly, the root cause lies in the way the parents have raised and guided them.
The adze and its handle
An adze is a woodworking tool, and its usefulness depends on how its handle is made and fitted. If the handle is poorly shaped or set at the wrong angle, the adze blade will not strike true, and the tool will work crookedly in the craftsman’s hands. In other words, the fault in the cut comes not only from the blade but from the handle that directs it.
In the same way, the proverb reminds us that what appears “crooked” in the result often comes from a flaw in the part that guides and supports it.
Parents as “handles” of their children
Parents are like the handle of the adze, and their children are like the blade that takes its direction from that handle. From birth onward, children are under their parents’ constant care, and it is the parents who shape their habits, character, and way of seeing the world. Instruction cannot wait until children are already grown; it must begin while they are still young and impressionable, like wood that can still be bent.
If parents neglect this duty in the early years, then try to straighten their children only later, they find the “handle” already fixed and hard to change. By that time, the child may already have absorbed bad habits from friends, media, or the surrounding environment, and turning them back to the right path becomes extremely difficult.
When a child becomes foolish, rude, or immoral, the proverb points us first to the parents’ responsibility. It does not deny the child’s own choices, but it stresses that the primary cause lies in the upbringing and example provided at home. Just as a craftsman must make a sound handle if he wants a true‑cutting adze, parents must form sound character if they want their children to walk straight in life.
This is why elders say that the work of raising children must start early, with patience, consistency, and moral example, so that the “handle” is straight and the “adze” will not cut crooked.
English, French and Chinese equivalents:
As the twig is bent, so grows the tree.
Comme on plie le jeune arbre, il poussera.
上樑不正下樑歪。
